Tuesday, October 24, 2006
it is really not easy to be friends. it is not easy to put yourself on a hold to try to understand the other party and to really like someone to call him or her your friend. yep.. kinda contradicts everything that is going on in this planet. it is easy yeah to talk to someone. casual words, no win or lose to comtemplate the situation. or else why when we approach the next person, is to mainly fill in a void and to escape from the fact that we are alone.
there goes the trail. from one friend you skip on the next, gradually you build up a line so at random days when you needed company you have the numbers available at hand to start playing roulette and dial, dial and dial. usually i should some would have better luck, netting with the 1st call made or perhaps now an sms should suffice. it is after all, a matter of self-marketing campaign set to win hearts and smiles.
i am not nice by nature. i am an agressor, a fighter or so perhaps a hater. i am not friendly, days i am. probably i am distracted. i am not cool and collected, not those type of femme fatale but i am more likely to shrink. of course sometimes i can't quite hold my tongue in place. so when my tongue leads the way, please be careful. i don't usually apologise, after all if you like my style enough you will stay along for the ride or to be appropriate, the ego tripping. i don't see the need to regret cos if i do then i can't see myself moving on. so why bother when i have a long way to go until someone up there decides my sudden demise?
i don't understand why people would stick around with me. i can be a difficult creature. all girl then all inanimated then all girl then all gone. friends are few to named, friends who stayed on are beyond my outer shell but into the essence of me. of cos some friends still irritate the hell out of me but i can't lose them as it is. it is easy to feel under my skin that that is one to keep. like a treasure found, kept close in my pocket. of cos some treasure can sure be a pain in the ass... as often found... now i have one that is some sort nice but some sort that i wanna make a punchbag out of...
these are the little treasures i call friends...
8:14 PM
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