bad eating habits! both terry & mdm lim are veggie retards! i haf to literally forced mdm lim to take her greens! i'm like worried both D.O.L.L.S will be like both androids!

thank god minmin takes her tofu! keeps her skin silky soft and fair! poor xuan everything oso no go! damn! she only takes her carbs and soup. she is this soup queen! she and her spoon of potent liquid wonders!

this is bad... i haf to meet both D.O.L.L.S more often in order to ensure they don't fall into the pit of doom! take your vegs! they are the antidote to life itself! arrghhh! mdm lim looks like she will die & rot on the spot if she has to take 1 mouthful of non-cannibal toxics! arrrghhhzz...

fried food are temp happiness in a bowl. 1 hour later it all rushes to down to the sewage.

she is the mother but i think i make the model mom!
Mr. Koh! HEAR THAT????

hahaha! wheeww!

tomorrow is a big day. have to meet his friends damn so damn nervous! yup tat big boy went & blabbed his mouth off about me. gosh! and i am supposed to play some wonder queen or pixie princess! shut it!

i am feeling fat now. in a fat mood! shit! he says my butt looks even bigger now.. the worst that could happen is that i am having trouble getting my ass outta mdm lim's 4 wheeler... shush... i need a miracle!

i am supposed to work but now i am on the clouds above and have exactly 26 days of "snakes" to chew on. sending resumes at work gosh! i am a model employee! hahaha

i am so damn nervous... can u imagine mr. koh has even spread the word to friends of the world on the other continent? he is so damn nice to me. well, i am the princess after all. worship me now! just don't call me god...

he is jus full of surprises! i can't wait to bring both babies out with him. hope xuan gives him hell & an entire new meaning to it! he might faint. puiz

we are not goin for the wedding. oh well... if i have to sit with some alien fat head and ms. putty-chew-me-now pasties... kill me... let the riot queens rot for all i care. not that i don't want to give my well wishes. as much the lady in white deserves it, i could probably dissolve in acid tat nite. mdm lim too... both of us are vulnerable to ugliness. hahaha
we do not succumb to evil just that we might lose our appettites!

outside my room i can hear bimbo-ish noises... this place breeds bimbos and all things nasty... thank god for my good genes i expel toxins and repel ill-qualities expertly.

just realised evil breeds and breathes hard in this enclosed environment.. the world is bigger than this hole. they just couldn't paint that picture and decided heaven is where they live. come on now, would god allow such an ugly person in his kingdom above?

gosh hag - J u need major overhaul on ur face and esp ur heart. ur evil spread beyond the borders and boundaries and u need to think u really deserve a place on earth.

lucifer that is ur mama...

i love this mouth of mine and me fingers type fast to rid myself of this injust! hahaha! long live the princess!

tat bw is realli rude... sometimes i tink he does that just to irritate me. ok, you did a job well done. buck off, bunny boy. sometimes u are just hell-sent, a gift -kicked up the ass. when ur nice, u r a bw and when ur not, u r an A.W. ass. wipe. flat out! those nasty little cottony things... stink real good after a poop up party...

u r the king of your throne & crown well-worn. u nasty worm. arrghhh **constipated rwoarrr** go figure...

just got irritated real bad this evening. he says he thinks not this sat. arghhh... work torn us apart. that gruesome thing we hate yet had no choice by fate to slave by it all day till nite passes us & again that cycle fathoms... damn... life's a gloom & love's abloom nothing's booms...
what a rhyme...

promises. promises. we fly into the nite to the foreign land, awake by day and shop till we drop. that gorgeous land where we shall play & make merry all nite long. that is if he could stay awake. i can't wait.

promises. part 2: on a quest we go, this thurs for dinner. eat we shall & hunger we rid. the weary feet rest, & perhaps alittle laughter to pass the gloom of the last work's day. fair shall we enjoy that quiet moment, of course depends where we dine. nay, tarry the fool who will not deny us our food. hungry hungry hungry, we lay our knives & forks askrewed ready for battle on the plates of our doom! a march to war we go away! kill that hunger & rid our ache! fill our bellies with that nice warm spread! awake we will to bring alight this friday paying a distant homage. party we shall for the battle has ended. promises promises he made he shall. fulfill or bear the wrath of my sword.

i was watchin LOTR. no surprises that tolkien invaded my mind. food i play he battled the mighty lords. songs they sing of the brave & the tune i carried when i go battle-weary & rub-a-tum-tum when my stomach's full of bright odd happiness. ah! the heaven's upon me!

shit i need help!

promises part 3: shop we shall, the little ones in us has spoken. spend spend spend that penny last us not & keep us awalking. into the bright place with plenty of baubles & displays. keep us clothed in shadow in the darkness of the coloured notes. spend we shall for it is the last day. the mighty king on the throne spoke so soon not too long ago, the price shall rise & twicefold we pay. the common of us will spend to our hearts' content for the dreaded end has befall on us. the brand new moon awaken a hearty gloom, for the green of our money & the weight of our pockets shall sink & fall no less not our hands! into the enemy for no greater we welcome him into our home. bless our hearts for too kind we are to stage our fright. we play as we might we sink to the ground & worship his might. for we have no other choice. we on the red dot serve 1 king & the master we have offers us not but to pay. to pay & pay that little red dot demands. meek as we are weak as our hearts we shall bid our master's words. angry as we are, small as we are. silent we carry that tune so well.. for this 6th day & the last day of the waning moon, we shall spending to the boom of the day! the dawn rise a dragon's march soaring into the night of dark. spend we shall the colour of our paper bringin the rainbows & making our hearts amerry for no merry comes when the new dawn comes!

this is really healthy for dissing that SOB... of wherever my homeland is... pay & pay... never ends that trip... into hades & back forth to live again we will jus dig deep and pay.

he wants to watch transformers & i haven't seen my shrek. soon i will shriek & his ears will break. tears will flow & pleadings will soon begin. for his princess shown her tantrum & the might of her strength. will shake the earth & the walls of his bowels. behold that mighty princess & her red hot eyes will burn him on will! hah! as if...

to bed i go watching that sleepless night glow. the stars are awake but where are they? the light glows but my eyes see that darkness drapes across that blanket above me. i sigh and wait for the silken light of dawn. the jewel glitter and morning abrew. the shine above me rosen my cheeks. a pale smile played my lips into a grin. ah daylight strong daylight my lord a might to fear & a will to hold.

this is to say a farewell's nite...

today marks the last day of my papers. those thin material killed my very soul while being couped up at a tiny desk that stirs the memories of those years wearing a uniform...

i can finally breathe now. the air smells great. my lungs are awashed clean again. and my dumb cat is irritating me now. there she goes up and down.

finally met mr. koh today. he is a hungry monster but as usual could not finish his food. i think i overdid the stuffing today. oops! had this cravin for sushi ever since i went out with those 2 terrors on tuesday. seen a 1 year old slurps her noodles with only 4 front teeth? watch it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KojyHpIb5w just ignore that weird laughter. that's me. i am sorry but i can't help it. she is so damn adorable!

those 2 horrors are really the most wonderful things on earth. i adore them! their mum mdm lim was saying that her hubby would like to engage my services during her absence (2 months of luxurious training in canada) to take care of his pampered horrors, knowing that that adoration goes two ways for both the kids & myself. i wouldn't mind. mr. koh will give me hell though but i think he will be bowled over once he sees them. watchin that video, i think he has more or less melt tis evening during dinner.

mr. koh is going to scoot me away for a weekend trip! Yippee! he will not allow me to go on a travel rendevouz with my BF Corps if i hadn't at least travel with him. well, if i concluded this job that i am goin for the interview this mon, then i can't go on a long trip... he just wan to take me away... he is worried that jas & mel... oh well... jas will prob faint mel will hahah... tat's all so impossible! cos R-er will be on his mind... hahaha oops i shouldn't make fun of him!

jas wanna go KL to see his beauty queen.. i think i will just stick to shopping. mr. koh thinks there is nothin to be nuts about over KL i agreed but i need to give moral support to my own bro man.. gotta do my rain dance there for him! mel is just goin cos he better otherwise beauty queen mite misunderstood the intentions and my mr. koh is gon get real pissed. as in. real pissed.

anyway checking out the flights for our trip. haha next year would be japan & he better be the one goin with me. i think it will be fun to make him sit straight through a Gackt concert! tat old man mite jus faint! he is really this adorable bear! ok. hamster!

surprisely, he was actually plannin to call my mom auntie! OMG! please! my mom mite jus kill me instead! i think anythin he calls her would never be rite... let's just see how..

i wanna go BKK where he will be bringing me unless i wanna go somewhere else. we're goin to sydney in nov to visit our big bf boss for bday! shhh... dun tell him!

man, that would be so awesome! imagine ur buddies doin tat for ya! steam man!!!! full speed! i think kav mite just melt & shed some tears! i will go broke there as well! pray work goes well. oh yah if i get this job, dear mr. koh will double up as chauffeur as well! it would be nice spending mornings speedin on the road with him. he is a hilarious curse-r on the road! road rage maxmiser!

he wouldn't drive in to JB... afraid we mite haf to take public transport (aka taxis - he hates them) if his car were to go missing on us... sighzzz. that would be fun.. road trip.. he says he rather fly... yup hamster grew some wings last nite... my foot... fly to JB?!

HK, year end anyone?

i feel like some pampered pooch! gosh! but im not a dog!

i cut down drinking and i missed some friends. i think it's pretty cool to just sit and chill. i missed my starbucks all of a sudden and feel like having a java chip frap. yeah, i gave up on my caramel frap cos i think i am sweet enough and no need for more. unless i don't mind a diabetic lover to jump on me. i got back my voice and can sing anytime i want to. i am gon shout at the top of voice at 5 am just to give those neighbours above me, HELL! dumb f**ks just keep yelling like there is no tomorrow.

i wanna go for a concert but can't decide who. i am going to make a trip to st james cos the ministry is not the only place for worshipping. i promise to read carefully who the hell is that dj who spinned last friday. i promised i will not overwork my membership card. i swear online is addictive to blow the greens, reds, and blues except internet banking tells you no colours but numbers that minus on its own.

hollywood rag is another drug for me.. a dose of celebrity skin makes me weak. i swear i don't care whoever that celebrity is hanging out with us. don't go tellin me and expect me to go waahh... not possible ok? i am a girl but not dumb, you f**k. i always wanted to say this bloddy cool sentence! COOL!

great i can go to bed now.

oh well another entry... my exams are coming... shit and i haven't exactly been a good girl keeping at my books... my nose was like buried somewhere else online... lost amidst the sprees to come... my money's all blown in the world of virtual spending...

interestingly... and am i glad, i got an A & a B for both my projects! so maybe i can breathe alittle easier... let's pray now...

mel's birthday is comin up next week... excited but his present has to be postponed... haha no choice haven't got the time to order... this week i seriously have to be mugging... jas's present is not even in... that site... is so.... screwed...

fake plastic trees is a very very uber beautiful song... it aptly describes people and society... especially people... sometimes i think it is easier to just let them say whatever they want... give them bread... hoho... well..well... for i have been in the thick of people who i still feel sometimes pretty "cheated" but still give what i can... sometimes i need to erase that part of me...

i need to axe out some people.. just been discussing with mel & jas (there is no BF meeting today cos of some miscomm, the boss was not informed)... we realised there is a motivation speaker amongst our so-called original group... motivation speaker aka crap talker...

sighzzz people do change alot and in a short span of time... sometimes we all wish that all of us are moving in the same direction and improving for good instead of worse... seems like our dear friend is turning into someone we no longer recognise... well... physically & mentally... i think emotionally i hope for this dear friend's sake, that our dear friend is aware of this big change taking place & hold of xxxself... xxx mite be losing friends who really cared... and may have just about change these friends' hope for xxx... maybe we had thought that 1 year later, we all still can go out together... maybe it is my personal hope though the 1st day i met xxx, i knew that i should be losing xxx pretty much this time...

don't say that i or we did not put in our effort... sometimes i think on this dear friend's part, is too caught up in whatever doin and oso love life... i mean come on, aside from that friends are there... and i mean genuine friends if only you cared... sighzzz

we are lost in transition... mel was sayin we should still go ahead & buy that gift and ask what's the celebration... i think we need to see if we are invited or not... somehow i think not... this is a fake plastic tree, you have cash splurge on xxx... otherwise asking for a share of cost i think it is hard... and i don't understand why people are willing to splurge on...

for that little bit of fun & happiness? i think sometimes xxx is taken advantage in this situation... others pay for the drinks and xxx drinks & overdoes things in the end, i think the joke is on her... after that nite, i think these people don't even care about xxx. they can just walk away and leave xxx there...

oh well... i guess im getting sentimental now... what's friends in this society? i guess after those months of hangin out with bw turned me pessimistic about people... we are all so fragile...

anyway the good news, ok perhaps i should say better news is that i have tendered my f**king job! good! that shit should just go out of my life... i sloughed on like an animal for? nothing... sympathy is not needed and money is not digested well man... no no... whatever nuts & bolts they pay, they should go pump their faces...

at least i don't have to see that old hag anymore.. poison pen & poison face... who's scared of loneliness like she does best?

better news, mr. koh is a nice man.. ;) i should bless my fortune that i met him thru an unfortunate incident... in case, mr. o is wondering.. nope i did go to his place to know him better... that last man... maybe guts is an issue, maybe not, maybe not the right one, maybe i trusted him too much and gave too much away... mr. koh is a dear friend... with a strong arm haha i almost fell down... that arm pulled me from harm's way... this sir is family-oriented and i guess it is a good thing.. he has a nice smile & is funny to talk to... sleeps like a pig cos' he is born a pig 12 years my senior...

protective yeah... too protective sometimes... thinks the men i know cannot be trusted... yeah well some... but i no longer hang out with those... my BF are more trustworthy than anyone else and above all they are most precious things to me besides my mom, my cat, my chou chou... haha ok my sister too...

maybe mr koh treats me alittle too precious that i feel too precious suddenly... i have this demanding side which i find it hilarious... ok i wanna eat jap today! now! there u go... ok that is not me... hahah hueing thinks he is an old old man... oh well.. irene says i should prepare myself for a life long heist... gosh... i wasn't think so far yet... right one? i dunno... but for now, let's just see... well... we haven't done anything between us we are both i should say healthy livin healthy datin... i don't want to step into a relationship with someone i just met like dat... and no sex is a big no now... the last one was a big mistake... i sorely regret now..

i should have never dated someone younger... think due to that there are some differences that cannot be overcome, at least on my part... i can act all kiddish & stuff but just for humour's sake. i am not like dat for one. mel can justify that... i cannot put up with nonsense like childish bickering & non-intellectual sarcasm. i mean we both agreed to end things & let's just keep at that. things i chose not to reveal about my after you life doesn't mean that i am doing that to keep whatever image but not to create any hurt from the aftermath of things. i used to think that it is only right to start dating after a breakup like a year but after reading an article, i realised we humans are ever changing that there is no way to determine when is the right time to fall in love again...

perhaps it made him happy knowing that the last one after him is not successful.. let him mock it meant nothing to me.. my only disappointment was that i did like that last one. alot. foolishly. to have being made fun of for liking someone only an idiot can do that. well. i know an idiot like dat. no names mentioned. he can only be dat biggest jerk in the universe & for that i give him credit.

i don't dislike this idiot for once i did regard him as dear & precious as how BF is. perhaps i still do that is why i do not get mad. i don't say anythin when i get those malicious remarks for no apparent reason. perhaps this is his in born trait.. oh well.. some people are born rich, some are born poor, some are born smart some are just here becos they are such assholes and god or whoever up there cannot stand them. oh well he is part of that group...

i still don't get angry. he is who is he. i appreciate his honesty.. at least i think he is honest to an extent. still i wish things could be better. perhaps what makes my last relationship regrettable is becos i gain someone at that time & just as it is, i lost someone perhaps even more precious.

but for now. i am taking it easy, nice & slow. perhaps the age is one thing. ok, he is really nice... nope i am not that materialistic kind like perhaps this dear friend is... i don't care about his car, house or money or whatever... ok i do take advantage of his ears to whine... he is a good listener... maybe he fell aslp i dunno but yeah... he is a kind gentleman... he is really corny & cold jokes are his specialty... haha well he keeps me awake.

let's just see.. for now study study study then think.. oh yeah i sent out my resume now let's pray again.. mr. koh says i can't do sales cos i look too kiddish & no one would believe me & whatever i am selling unless it is candy & ice cream.. great way to dash my dreams... way to go... im only short but i do not and i repeat do not look like im still 15! thank you very much or rather let's do the drunk bw way - than you very mural... drunk's text message... after throwing up outside istana... hahaha

i just wante to know if i dare to take this chance. sometimes i get so angry and upset but i cannot make myself stand up and tell the other person how i feel. and chances slipped past me and i know it. because i am scared that even if i were to tell it as it is, things are going to turn up as a mockery. perhaps after saying all that in my earlier post, i am still afraid. perhaps this change got me scared. i try to live brave, and be happy that i can actually be honest about my feelings but at the same time, i am afraid. i am scared he will just accept the situation as it is and case closed, deal closed.

why can't 2 people just come together and know each other before believing what others say? why do we put so much faith that our friends are always on our side? the last time i trusted BW, i got myself burnt instead. his double edged sword staked me up at high post. till now, i am lost when it comes to the other good friend.

but now stepping into a different scene, it just replays like a bad memory. i lost my head when instructions, as in explicit instructions are meted to me. i wish that liking someone means mutual understanding and tat's it. as in really mutual understanding. some things do not have to be said because each other's importance grow when you like each other. when that someone is important to you, you see your world just kinda painted just you and him and blah blah blah. even right now, i just keep seeing his face.

i don't even know if liking him is a good thing. age is factor perhaps to what others are going to say. i should not think that mel and my bf will say much. they are pretty much standing strong behind me. i know that i am pretty much alright left to my devices and when i cannot handle it like today i just sit and cry. to myself. no point talking about it cos' it will not write off itself or discount the fact that i was hurt. and i am mature enough to know what exactly i am doing. things that are mutually beneficial always gets me into trouble. things that undeniably wiped me off my ass cleaned always just gets me alone into all this BS pain.

others who will talk, perhaps those people we met through might set tails wagging. perhaps scorned hearts and jealous parties might and if only that is so. perhaps people you think they are friends usually are the ones who set the fire ablaze and cry wolf along with you when you are in your misery. yup the last time i was in the pits, called a friend who accidentally hit the wrong button on her hp and switched her calls by mistake and told me for the next 10 minutes or so about me and my misery and oh my love life. she thought i was her gossip buddy. nochalence didn't exactly helped but ok i preferred to ignore her penchant for gossip and to treat it as a concern to be addressed.

i am sitting up in front of my computer now contemplating my situation as he calls it. he is right, he makes my mind work harder thinking about him. i am trying so hard to stop. i try to be strong now since nothing happened and with a shrug i can let go. but the truth is i cannot. because i refused to accept whatever he said is just for show. yep alot of you are goin to say that i am dumb. just saying for the sake of doing so. but i just don't want to doubt him. why do we have to live so miserably spending our time doubting the next person? i don't want to do that. i may restrain myself from revealing myself but i do come with my heart open because i would like to accepted the way too.

perhaps because of this, i feel that it leads me to exposure to cheating friends. most of the time, i felt used. i realised the most used i am are by these people i called friends. and most of them are not mine to begin with. they are usually m's frens that eventually by his command; " you shall take care of them" that led me down this shit...

i realised this after one weekend. a very clear change... ignorance then reliance... this method always works on people like me! i am not advertising myself but seriously times like this, i feel stupid and the worst thing is i am already aware that i am used. i think this situation is like the one jimmy told me. his macau trip and being converted into some hurried quickie fortune god and cookies in exchange for paper wealth. and the sad news is these people just don't know their fortune. they just got used to the idea that you are here. therefore you will do so and take care no matter what. they see it as an obligation to their being. if only they were god and bring me wealth... maybe...

it is not the 1st time i am made used of. and i know that mouths go dry faster than the wind can do the trick, gossip alone cannot stop for the sake of the nation. so there you go, from the mouth of the babe, perhaps word goes around faster twice faster if those people knows you as well... then next you know, you are stigmatized like god himself! way to go!

i am just glad that end of the day i have my mel, jas and kav. i am at peace. but now i am still lost. should i just tell him that i really want to know him as much i did yesterday, the day before the week before? i cannot sleep with my heart this heavy and to think my tears flow in my frustration. this is a senseless and frustrating week.

i rejected r's proposal last nite... becos i didn't wanted anything at all not with him... now to having created some misunderstanding here with c.. then j had to call in the midst of a quiet quiet ending to the night... a parting call with words that swirl... now everythin is a mess. i hate it when r comes just when he thinks that hey he is interested... back off my dear. the world is not just you alone and i don't live for you. don't be silly when mutually nothing comes out of it so don't waste time. hook up some other fishes in the pond where you dig, just make sure your gf doesn't catch so good with a rod.

why can't guys just think that hey, she is a girl but we can be friends... just because i am a girl doesn't mean that the difference lies between my legs and yours and nothing more.

people are ever changing creatures. not by the conditions that we set ourselves but time itself. we are constantly changing because we cannot put time to a stand still. likewise, feelings and people cannot be bounded to what you want.

just because we fear the unknown, fear that we might lose, fear that vexation that comes when we are not in control, we want to bind that person or feelings forever to be unchanged. we give reasons for our doings, we dictate how the other person should be, all because that we cannot live up to our fears within.

but we cannot stop ourselves from moving. we passes each station, each stop without losing time yet we seek to control that supposedly ever lasting dreams we want to possess. we seek that person because we crave for that person, we needed that person because we tell ourselves, that yes we needed that person. we want that person because in our minds we already seek a possesion over that person therefore we cannot let go that single thought that change will come one day.

everything we seek for, everything we hoped for, everything we yearned for will all come to a change. everything we try to avoid, everything that breaks us, everything that hurts us, will also come to a change where what has happened will pass. in eventual terms, a brighter day, a sunnier day, a cheerful day and a certain peace. to keep the present peace, we tighten our palms around what we are holding on, however we neglected the fact that like grains of sands we are not gods in control.

but we should never forget that we once had that one thing that we held so close to our hearts. we should not lose hope before the dream is over. we should not be afraid of what might come because for now tell yourself that i have you now and i am happy for this moment to be alive.

we should not let tears fall before it is meant to. no time to regret no time to remember all the negative energy in life as there is not enough time to remember what and why you are here in this moment with that person.

in life, we are in a constant cycle of change and it is a rush itself to live. for every step we take, we should not question and regret. no life is untarnished as each day passes and we grew older. every life is wrinkled with every action and course we partake. we cannot hope not to make a mistake. but if in life for every change, we held so close to our hearts of the mistakes we made or that person made, we live for nothing. because we choose to remember all things bad and to lose sight of what beauty we possess and so that person does as well.

can we put ourselves to understand the other person, to know that person before we made judgements? can we write a simple story of how 2 persons meet, how 2 persons get to know each other? through others' ears and mouths or from each other, learn about the other person sitting next to you, from his actions, his words, his fingers, his smiles? or that to let his past bring you down. create that fear that you no longer recognise why you are sitting next to him?

can we sit for a moment just to talk? can we tell each other about ourselves and listen to learn because we want to and because we are interested to find out more. can we sit close for a moment because we want to be friends? why when the negative comes to light from mouth to mouth, words falling through and one seeks to walk away so sure that he or she is bound on the path of pain if in continuance? must sincerity comes from only you even though you seek to escape faster than lightning comes? what kind of gift will makes an ever lasting impression to keep you here? we are all ever changing creatures not controlled by our destinies but time itself. do we dictate who we are or to tell how the other person should live? because we are afraid to let go one day?

sincerity comes from both parties who are willing to take a chance on the change cycle affecting everyone who lives. will anyone take a chance to tell that person why he or she is willing to take this chance? or would anyone just shrink back and walk away since that person stated clearly that life is without conditions is impossible. love without conditions is impossible. someone sets a set of conditions in order to love you. a conditional affair to safekeep his or her heart in the eventual term of change to come. i would take a chance to tell that person why i am here to take this chance. perhaps i would be the same old me foolish.

if my every action in the past would affect what i am now at present and destroy my future, i would not be me at this moment for anyone to discover. my actions are not planned and distorted for your pleasure, but every action is mine alone to bear. for you to discover and to ask yourself if you wanted me why would you not take a chance?

nobody says you can't.

sometimes you can dictate the change as it goes. if you are willing to take a chance.

my throat's hurting so damn badly... drinking loads of water and have already cut back on my alcohol intake. now i am working to cut down on my nicotine. hate that stuff already but trouble with quitting altogether. but anyway working hard.

music's good at the ministry last weekend.. nearly danced till i dropped. still haven't gotten back my earrings from this someone... damn... wished there is an effort of niceness here. seems impossible. men are the worst sorta creatures put on earth. but then again there are some who are nice. so nice that they helped to take care of a drunk queen on friday nite. i was pissed that it is obvious i'm the plain spare tyre when no one is left to bother with. why did i ever bother? god.. wish mel didn't have to tell me who to take care.. that sticks in my head like a mantra but i can't exactly complain since i have already put myself to use for that purpose.

sometimes i think myself as a sucker cos i just keep getting used... ignore me when you have other friends who can afford your time, but when you are going to be to sick, come home to me. wat kind of friend is tat?

that is strictly BS.