hah... gotten over it... what are men for really? actually i am not looking for anything now on the contrary to what some think. i make the effort to ensure that there is someone out there perhaps i needed a companion. or perhaps to filter those who are looking for physical fulfillment. at least to know that someone sees beyond that sorta thing.

i do see myself liking someone. but i get kinda choked up about what to do. i get mixed opinions and sometimes i don't know it i should shoot that person with that verbal opinion expressed or to just hang myself for believing. i seek too many advices but none that suits, none that are absolute.

i just get sooo... lost. i am confused. i want to just get straight to the point and forget about the mind churning obstacles this game can carry... i can't stand that obstructing silence coming and going. it blocks my ears out from almost everything.. except perhaps hunger?

well... making caramel dreams is a good deal i supposed. being smiley all day long gets me through especially when i am not happy at work. burnt out... sick of the people there... oh well.. that's life i guess. i rather put my thoughts somewhere else. chuck my head into that frothy dreamy world i have created.

can you taste that sugary sweetness melting in your mouth? though no response coming through from that someone. .. but i am happy. through fear i found my courage. i have a date planned. another sweetness flowing through my veins. i mean, come on! don't expect me to wait all day! i have expressed myself and you're not coming to get me then forget it.

i don't play games i never like that. as much as i tell B.W i don't and never will. B.W is a mind f**ker and god knows how he does it but i am not picking up that skill though men are the greater players of this art... i sure hope one day B.W fall down as well. nah just kidding. i won't want B.W to break his butt.. that's too precious... eeee.... gross...

maybe my ego got in the way of being afraid of rejection. being in that dangerous knowledge of letting someone get away with embarrassing me. but to think of it, i don't embarass easily, if i did... man i would jump out of my window like 3 times each day... i live stronger.
i tell myself... FIINNNNEEEE! i still can walk on you know... you just don't know what you're missing. i won't submit to B.W's taunts since he is a childish motherf**ker... who cares anyway, go find some 5 year old to tease your dick...

aha! i gotten back myself and my spirit! A-Ja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!