i have been looking at my horoscope since this year is coming to a closure. trying to find a link between the predicted and the days i have just passed. but of cos', being the fish, i am concerned about my luck but of that called love.

it's either the astrologers are good or they are making up according to my life. either that or i'm living in an Ed's TV lifestyle without knowing. otherwise for real, i might be delusional. bah!

the 1st quarter indeed to realise my thirst for freedom i forgo a relationship. but somehow it is nothin to regret since it has already ebbed away till nothing is left except the shells of us lingering on. not willing to take a step either forward or backward. of cos' freedom is good. i was happy.

towards the 2nd quarter, (damn... someone's following me!) i met someone who pulled me down into the swirling waters... somewhere in the darkness i swam and drown and re-borned and crashed out. it's so difficult to accept the fact that he just wanted a companion to play boo on bed then someone more than that, someone more that i can be for him.

i guess... sometimes it is not about letting go that is difficult but it is unacceptance. we refused to accept that is how we are treated. we refused to accept the reason given. we refused to believe all our efforts and time are wasted. we refused to acknowledge that we are dumped, hurt, and put to a closure when we are still trying to convince ourselves there is something to it.

anyway. i let go. time to otherwise that cycle repeats itself and i will burn out probably asked myself on 01-01-2007 if this is goin to carry on...

now, interestingly the 3rd quarter... blending in the people i have gotten to know during this time you can say that i've been through more emotions at this time. the different people are like fabrics.. soft and cool. warm and hard. satiny feel, a barely there touch perhaps a rough edginess and textured paths... it was the earth at best spinning at 360 degrees at perhaps 180km/hr? i think it should be at a speed that would induce vomitting spectacularly like maybe every other hour. i was in and out of perhaps i would say that of sharing mutual feelings with a like person.

i guess suddenly spending so much time with a particular person would lead to complications. and complications would lead to stomach-revolting star-jumps... oh well... maybe too many men or boys or whatever u call those, at 1 go is not good... no no no not good at all.

can't say that i didn't had fun either... hmmmm... me at my moste wildeste... not really...

tumbling towards the last quarter... i melted down. i was scared of being alone. enough of those helter-skelter days. i decided it's time to get real lucky. yep. hell, i tried to get lucky for sure. oh well... you can say the prospects are pretty interesting and some kept me smiling. tho, 1 leaves me in confusion but hell... i played my part. the interesting part is about me meeting the one who might the one of cos unless he agrees to b the one. unfort, things are what i can say cannot be according to that one.

we remain as friends. i hope. oh well... building up the list, i hope it will lead to something nice. nope. i am not desperately praying to whomever to grant me. but love, actually can be quite a tricky creature. hard to control, difficult to deny but oh well... something good might look up.
ps. my horoscope says the current hook-ups to watch for are libra, sagittarius and taurus...
hmmmm..... stars shining bright above me....