Sunday, July 01, 2007

i am really so damn upset yesterday. i came close to having a slap across my face and having to deserve that to wake me up. as i told jimmy i am going to cry once and let go. bingo and i did that.

the sad thing was i was non-existent to him. perhaps in this way it is good cos' it helps me to erase all possibilities of inviting more trouble. i can't hope anymore can i?

it was good seeing everyone. initially i was caught by surprise i just wanted to go chill and go figure out a good ending. well my nite ended with a bang literally. broken glasses and shattered dreams. a spell broken. i saw O but anyway skip that. good to see that he seems pretty much ok. i don't ask for more just that be happy. genuinely happy.

well get a girl more suitable at least. i can't afford to be what i am not to keep anyone else happy. it gets harder to smile as the time passes through to hit the dawn. i spent a bomb at the ministry. dropped close to $400. opened a bottle for yundi as a birthday gift. well... she caught me by surprise that nite. least expected words were spoken. suddenly the dam broke. things that i was holding back inside just came gushin out like a pregnant river tore through.

7:39 PM

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being me
THY CHARMED ONE
I am obviously a WOMAN, sometimes a Girl.
I am Old enough then again young enough so the number is...
I am pleased to say that i am HAPPY as can be.
I sometimes can be NASTY as that is part of me.
I am who i wanna b & i walk my path and live as i will.
I am just being ME altogether.
I AM THE EGO GIRL.

People Whom I think i love
..Madame DOLL..
..the GIRL who saw Greatness..
..mona lisa SMILES..
..a 10 yr old LITTLE girl..
..花鹅, sitting in his car..

Yesterday i wrote my life here

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