Saturday, August 11, 2007
this is a horrible week i ever had. sometimes i feel it is so hard to care as a friend. it gets harder to maintain this simple rule of respect. especially when the other party feels that you should know every damn thing and to ad-here to their styles. that word respect is so damn hard for anyone to understand it seems.
i was feeling so down but i didn't want to talk about it.
my own buddies. seems like they have forgotten that i am still a girl. do not expect me to be mollycoddle every damn girl you bring to the gin gang and i am what some under paid nanny? i am not even paid for all these damn work. sometimes i feel they care more about those people on a pit stops with us and their expectations of me to perform is like is that what's expected of me?
jus bcos i am your buddy doesn't mean i have to do every damn thing. sometimes i wonder should i ask madam would you like me to clean your ass? how about licking for you while i am at it? yup i felt very much taken for granted. both parties at it. ladies and gentlemen, butt out now.
i am not paid, i am not a maid, nor a nanny. and i do not enjoy being taken for a ride.
thank god for mr koh. though i didn't tell him what was going on but i was glad to hear his voice. him and his grumbles. hadn't seen him in a while. but yeah hearing him earlier, i thought i was going to lose it and break down. perhaps i was happy perhaps to release my frustrations.
i don't know what's going on inside me lately. since my trip back, i have been getting these god damn sized migraines. i am being eaten inside out. it has been going on for days.
i wish i can see him though.
had a funny dream about my affectionate friend. something about coffee and sunny weather and a ring. i couldn't quite remember what is going on but everything came in flashes. but it was a good dream.
7:19 PM
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