looks like it is in trend to pay for love. it's all in the papers. looks like i am not catching up with trends anymore. thank god. well, dignity comes before material needs. thank god for being strong. thank god for living above whatever that is not there. i am in line for the next holy child so thank god for pride and lst classdom.

someone just asked me if i pick people up for sex. nope, i rather be selling meat in my market. i am addicted to work and i missed work actually with the extra holiday even though things ended kinda unhappy on thursday.

well, the blues set in when the weather turns foul. i should be catching up with my blogging now that things are getting philosophical and political somewhere out there. looks like i am always in the middle of these astounding foolish matters.

the truth is, i'd rather be watching animated fights than political thrashing at work, reading foreign words and deciphering art than anticipating paper wars and oral exchanges at work. i rather be reading someone's blog and think back how i wrote my first entry. perhaps to laugh, perhaps to cring, perhaps to say out loud; shit... what exactly happened... life with aims are much easier to tackle than to be ladden with rubbish and misforgottens and tramps. those that are to be out, just be the output and life still goes on, pretty much happily. i am aware of how things are supposed to be and am glad to accept it. i am not those who are meant to spend meaningless time on endless wastage, so no regrets. treat every step as a growing stage to the finale.

look at how much i have grown. not physically as that is no longer something that can be enforced nor desperate wishing would bring results.

no more tears over make up stories and tv drama spin offs. just breathe in and out.

i cannot see how much happiness can be extracted out of containment. an empty bottle an empty glass, leisure or not, seems nonsensical. those were perhaps once happy but extremely foolish days. or rather nights. counting petals as they fall.

the ones that i rather count and drenched in colour, red, green and blue. hopefully purple could come soon. life has much to give and plan for. another step to achieve for this year. projected growth and purposes that are well celebrated. dreamless sleep calms the heavy heart but now i yearn for more dreams. yume no tenshi.

so, smiling on. come monday i cannot wait to go back to work. i have got clients to please and tender meat for sale. that is what joy could do. kaching! kaching!

have been meeting really interesting people lately. from different walks of life and profession. i feel at ease. why should i just let the male population stand out in their pride when i can walk in mine with the ease of nobody else's shadow. i am not a pawn but a queen in my own right. lucky!