these songs on my repeated playlist these nights. i could not resist another post tonight. i think my thoughts went berserk on me now. that induced a puking session in the porcelain god. i am amazed the state that i have been driven to.

ever determined to never let anything get to me even stand in my way of food. this is the first time i have lived till and that i refused food. my love for food has been stopppered in the bottle tightly. even my thoughts would drive everything out. a pain shot straight up to my head. i need to get my act together. i need to run away again.

Pisces have a dreamy life. yet all dreams will come to an end. i came to a conclusion, nothing good ever comes out in all romance i have pursued. perhaps it should just stay as a longing, a yearning but nothing more. i have been stupid and displayed this foolishness more than i needed to. i should have been happy with what i have yet my greediness knows no boundaries. why do i want what could never been mine? i was overwhelmed madly with my borrowed happiness, not realizing that a timer has been set and that one day i have to return it. my happiness have been shared yet now i have to ask back for it. the lender has come chasing. now i have locked out of my love. a hole in the heart, the edges blackening. i don't know how to stop the bleeding.

i need to wake up soon.