我不会放手。

我已经失去一切。

i can't make myself walk out of this circle at all.
it has been 2 weeks, it feels like something is going to give soon.
nothing comes up.

i cannot give up because i don't know what i can achieve together unless i have this chance. now i don't even have this chance at all.

i wish i did not exist.

crying against the cold wind of the night would not seem so lonely and painful then.
crying out loud against the storming voice of the wind would not seem so small and meaningless.
the reds of the cars rushing by would not seem like a distant part of the world never to exist.

わたしわさびし。
こころほんとうさびし。
まいにちまいにち。
わたしわかんし。
なみだ。
もわからない。