i stole this picture from a friend. somehow it terrifies yet intrigued me...

the black of the window stark against the colour white of the wall and the grey-blue sky. it is beauty yet afraid. it is oppressive yet free. it is romantic yet tragic. it is a band of emotions and in a disarray of thoughts. it puts me in a poetic mood to wax lyric. it is a litany of what is in me.

somehow i feel calm looking at it. perhaps the clear sky calls for a soothing lullaby to hold still my heart. the raging fire that burns impulsively to my nature.
it made me think through about what i want and seek. i know what i want to achieve in this life that i hold the key to. and i know that there are some things that at the same time scare me. sometimes i just don't want to admit how loneliness is like. perhaps i treasured it, adored it and even worshipped it. but it hid me from humanity sometimes too much. for more than often, i find myself communnicating to the outside world through the keys of my laptop. typing away my hellos and goodbyes, sharing my happiness and grief, rage and love. seeing my friends through picture manager and online telescope of their lives. sometimes i don't know myself.

it is often easier to manipulate your feelings with the power of thoughts. yet undeniably, you will sink and get swallowed whole. this is the painful truth.

am i as funny as i think i am? amusing to the world like i wish they feel so?

this picture i recognize the collision of my thoughts, fears and powers. that i am alive therefore i need to learn what i seek.