it seems alittle foolish.

i opened up the messages on my phone and started doing some reading.
pretended to be brave to delete, lost the courage once my finger lingered too close to the trashbin icon. i am such a coward. did a childish thing and block him on my MSN. told myself it is better not to give in to my weakness. spirit is very willing but the heart is always the weak spot.

but the world still evolves.

i know now that how emotional my past updates have been, it does not do any justice calling myself an ego girl. but i have been pretty happy lately. at least these few days. i smiled alot more, ate more too (this is not that good actually). i regained some of my old self. i can't change much of myself for anything else, can't be a bimbo or wearing someone else's skin. i am only but who i am.

i am born with a horrifying temper. a close mouth smile or a half grin or a mona lisa whatever you like. i have fat cheeks i cannot deny. i can assure gentlemen, they are as good as those kurobutas that you have tried in japanese restaurants. mine come fresh. i am short, undeniably despite my despair cries for height, god is not bugging. i renamed it as FUN size. I am naturally cute, magnetically scary (my mouth is a clear indication of a genius at work, ask those ladies who hang out with me) and mysteriously men like my smart mouth but not long enough to stick around (an ex said i should quit being a smart aleck and just play dumb and fragile). i am fiercely protective of my friends. i try to help as much as i can. i cannot stand for weak folks. sorry, the world evolves as you continue to play a lonely hero in this world. i love my work. i am not someone who is going to just whine all day long. i am a shopperholic so kill me. i hate the hate as it is the only thing that oppresses without fail and i cannot do a thing about it! i love food, so what i have some fats? it makes my curves pop out, kill me anoxeric stickheads.. i really don't like my boobs. yeah it is the only thing that makes me whine like hell. who says big boobs spells fun. all i know my chi chis don't know how to spell, talk, paint my nails or just about do anything except for slowly killing me. (back pain man...)

i suck on my nails when i get a little jittery. i make spelling mistakes, my pronounication sometimes sucks but i love laughing at peggy when she makes her. i am mean, really. i don't really like ang moh men and don't see what is so attractive about dating them. i really like chinese boys (come to mama!). when i get nervous, usually it is time to worship the porcelain god. i think it is cool to fart. i also think it is cool to have so many beautiful nasty words in all the different languages. i really like japanese everything. i would love to date a korean plastic man. i torture my cat. but i overfeed her. i love my mom but find it weird to hug her. i really love kids but not when they start that whining. i love little boys alot but i cannot stand them naked with their birdies wagging hello at me. i openly adored sex. alot.

i smoke and want to quit. but i have no motivation, i am weak. secretly, i want to be a pop star, i really can sing. another ambition, i want to be a businesswoman, all taglines have been done up just for the day i am featured on forbes. i really do think i will strike lottery someday. i really think it is tougher for me to get a boyfriend than to get laid. i am hopeful that not all men are cheap contrary to what i always say out loud. i am a crybaby despite my ego. i experienced moods, really. actually i am very helpful. i cannot stand noise in the mornings so just shut up. i believe a couple should have sex at least once a day. hey that makes me extremely happy ok. it is a eureka euphoric orgasmic experience! ooh lala!

i love my gay buddy but everytime we talk about love i have this tough time trying to think of him as a guy or a girl. i get confused and lost then it turned into shock and i go into spasms. i don't really to drink water. i don't drink coffee, weird but i take kopi peng! actually i love to smile alot. actually i am also not that friendly. really.

i really love my alcohol but i am terrified of certain cocktails and bacardi terrorizes me with bad memories. i cannot do teiquila shots despite my alcoholism. i get obssessed easily. i love to just lie in bed all day long. in fact if possible, i would rather just stay in bed for everything. i love to sleep and i sleep alot. i hate doing the dishes but i like cooking. i really love steamboat and chili, don't stand in my way. i really don't like hairy people. i love shoes. i love lingerie but no one to wear for and it is a hassle just to admire in the mirror. i am paranoid and really believe in ghosts. but i love it as long as i am not the victim in the story. i love holidays. i really wish that i can visit Africa and do some voluntary work someday. i hope to be able to sponsor an entire village one day. i am scared that i can't have kids in the future. If Singapore is open as other countries, i would like to just have a kid since i don't think anyone will marry me. i am open to adoption kids or cats or dogs as long as i have enough space and cold.hard.cash. i really don't like ang moh shows, desperate housewives or whatever despite the asian fascination with them. firstly they sound weird and i can't quite understand them sometimes. i love asians. i love myself alot but always fail to protect me first. sometimes me think i don't love me that much.

i am honest and open. sometimes i think i am too damn straightforward. yeah i know my biggest problem. aiyah, take it or leave it. but i hate falling in love. cos' i always end up being a 小女人。 i am a pisces so i need alot of love, actually i am a hopeful romantic... so sickingly...

i don't know why i decided to rattle my head off. but yeah it sure feels good letting the world know that i am like that. kill me if you can. puiz