Happy New Year!

i spent my day with friends who frustrated my mom. She thinks that at this rate i will never be able to meet a nice guy.

My added resolution: i will start giving out my namecards every lunch hour and informing every gentlemen that i am single and available. willing to marry at a minimal budget. i am selling myself cheaply. but actually i have never come at any price. all i need is love and a hard working man with earthly ambitions.

this new year was spent was around orchard on tired feet, admiring brownies and sushi at ION, a hurried dinner due to overwhelming hunger and lack of creative sources for dinner locations. wanted to sing my heart out yet the dollars asked was a little eye brow raising for some of my friends. we skipped.

peg and i went for some no. 5 r & r. it was splendid. we had a weird conversation about a girl on girl thingy. something that we both accepted that is impossible for us. we rather be poked DEEPLY than to dip our fingers in slime.

sorry but it is reality.

2 ladies sent some champagne on our way. it was bubbly but not what we seek. we had our martinis. unbelievably i was not sloshed. i wanted to reach a certain height of no return yet i had only 6 martinis. the peach brought me innocence and lulls me into a childlike state yet the lychee just urge me to keep awake. i listened to cindy's advice and tried to look friendly. unfortunately i don't think even a smile would push a male version into my way. D cups apparently did not helped either.

peg took pics of my Ds. i think i am ruined. the channel could reach England if only i had the will and confidence. i am ashamed and shy. yet strangely proud. since these are home made. sorry but no apologies to the rest in the SG. i am born with them, i have grew with them, will live with them and speed through life with them. hump my way, bounce my way. these boobies are mine for life. this is 2010. i accept my life.

even though i seem relazxed. as i typed along in my state of pretended highness. my tears lingered at the corner. without permission to fall, i will myself to be still. a little attitude is needed to continue on despite that the past year had not been easy. it takes a little thick skin to believe in the goodness of one self.

i wish i had achieve something that would make my mom proud.
i wish my love was never in vain.
i wish i had put in effort to contact the friend whom i considered most important.
i wish i had never necglected the fact that i was really lonely and am still.
i wish i did not lose that precious thing that all became a memory and sometimes a nightmare.

i wish i had appreciate happiness and held on to it tighter.

alot of wishes which became my failures. i hope 2010 would make me a better person in cherishing all that matters. i am not that unlovable.

i will my tears to stay still for 20009 has come to an end.

happy new year to those who are catching up here. i wish i could say this in person and give you a hug to renew myself and our relationship.

no matter what, i love what i am before, now and will be. this will never be erased until i embarassed myself again.