if i had a chance, if "it" would ask me again, i think i will still say "yes".
i am chasing half empty dreams now. part of me still feel that open space within.

where is my positivity? what is my youth? i suddenly feel so old and parched.
suddenly the day seems bluer. the sky seems to call out to the grey side of me that my mirror self never shows.

i am trying to ignore "it" as much as i can. looking at others, their lives and pretending i lead just as good as i can. it is just so easy to slip into soft earth and wishing that i, my present self could just disappear. i wish i did not exist the way i am. i wish i could be a little more of what i thought i would be. that would not be me anymore, i would be a character from a book, a mills & boons, a sci - fi action hero, a pirate, a queen...

what happened to all my dreams?