i may have gotten a little hopeful last night.

perhaps, i need to rephrase my thoughts. i might have experienced a little emotion over my "what if" situation again.

well, yes. it would have been a "better off" situation if it had happened. i know he is a kind soul and a kindred one at it. still, deep down i got a feeling that i might turn the table over not before we showhand. i will be the rule - breaker if anything calls for it. i think he knows that too. too much love tipping off 1 side of the scale is never healthy.

i know i will be pretty happy, still it wouldn't be right at the expense of someone dear to me. i lost a fair bit of my gut last night when i knew what was coming up. i shouldn't be flirting with the unknown.

this may be a good year for love in the cards of those born in the year of pig but still it is not appearing on mine. at least not what i dictated.

i am still hoping for someone to say hi